Mark Twain's Clone

Mark Twain's Clone

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

21st Century Language

I was visiting H. G. Wells when I needed to use what I thought was his W.C. (or as we say bathroom). Next thing I comprehend I am in the 21st century. I now have the dubious task of writing this humor column for the A Castle of Books’ Web site, until I can raise the capital to repair H.G. Wells’ Time Machine.

I originally applied to be the TV/Radio editor, for a local newspaper. Being a man from the 19th Century, I reckoned that I am eminently qualified. I know absolutely nothing about TV/Radio. Thus, the facts shall never bother me and I can write in blissful ignorance. I did not get that august position. My fatal mistake was that I actually watched a pay-for-view TV program.

The language used in that 21st Century program by the entertainers would have been unimaginable during the 19th Century. Why the language used by one of your highly paid 21st Century entertainers was so foul and odious it would have mortified a 19th Century drunken sailor. More over, the language being used by your 21st Century male entertainers isn’t much better. When I submitted my review of that pay-for-view program, it looked like this:
“The largest laugh line came when the comedienne said, ‘my boy friend wanted something to %^@#$*€≠∞. And I replied, %^@#$*€≠∞.”

The Executive Editor, after having reviewed my work began using his own fiery language. It was so fiery it would have mortified the 21st comedienne.

Next Week: Bizarre Signs
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